I remember Jesus saying...

   "I'm inventing Christianity. Go forth and multiply, especially corporations.

    You must follow my word and  hold out your hand when a child
comes to your country for shelter; to block him, while chanting 'USA, USA!'

    And the word says you must home school your children so that when they hold up their misspelled signs in protest, no one around them will notice.

   And you must ban birth control pills of any kind, but promote 'boner' pills! This is basic 'Christianity' folks. Are you writing all this down??